physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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