i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
