I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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