some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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