I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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