My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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