walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
