I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
