you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
