I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
