Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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