It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
