My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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