well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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