P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
