There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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