he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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