I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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