I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
