there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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