he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
3 2 1 whiskey
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
