My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
