We won't sleep together?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Success! We fucked roommates!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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