Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
you made out with another girl for some wings
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
