YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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