he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
