I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
