when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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