Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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