the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
