i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
