my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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