they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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