1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
