Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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