The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
