rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
