i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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