I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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