You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
