Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
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