we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
