I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize