She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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