she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
