Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
