When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
