therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize