bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
