I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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