This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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