this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize