Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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