The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My breasts were aching with rage.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
