it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize