can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
