facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
