and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just gargled with NyQuil
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
