Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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