Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
