Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
