why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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