i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
