friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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