I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize