I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
