It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
