he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you never un-have a 4some
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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