People with herpes should wear stickers.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
