Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
