Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
