The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Im part way to drunk.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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