I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize